Tax Season Humor
 

I couldn't help but share this one:

At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit
the books of a local hospital. While the IRS agent was checking the
books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, "I notice you buy a
lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's
too little left to be of any use?"
"Good question," noted the CFO. "We save them up and send them back to
the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of
bandages."
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual
question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way.
"What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's
left over after setting a cast on a patient?"
"Ah, yes," replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to
trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to
the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of
plaster."
"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster
the know-it-all CFO. "Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the
leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"
"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the CFO. "What we do is save all
the little foreskins and send them to the IRS Office,and about once a
year they send us a complete dick."

If anyone has anymore tax jokes add them! Now that it's over we can all breathe.....

:rofl:

Thanks for the chuckle....that was a good one!!

Good stuff Tex.

I got one.

A bartender had a trick he used to win money. He would bet people in the bar that they couldn't squeeze 10 drops of lemon juice from a lemon after he had juiced it.

For years people would take his bet just sure they could do it. Black belts, power lifters, and lifelong construction workers with steel like grips would try, but none ever succeeded.

One day a thin spindly little man came in, about 60 years old wearing a light ash gray suit took the challenge. The bartender laughed and said "no way you will win are you sure you want to lose you money?" The thin little man said he was sure he wanted to take the challenge.

So the bartender got out a lemon and juiced it. The thin little man gripped it in his weathered hand and started to squeeze, one drop, then a second, so on and so forth until he had squeezed 42 drops out of the lemon. He had quadrupled the 10 drops the bet called for.

Blown away the bartender counted out his money. And just before he left, the bartender asked him how he done what no one had done in the years he had been playing the game?

The little man in the gray suit replied "Simple I have worked for the IRS for 35 years."