Need some advice... - RC-Monster Forums

BP-Revo · **Need some advice... -** 03.12.2010, 02:52 AM

Well, good 'ole RCM has never let me down, from asking a girl out to prom, fixing RAID arrays on my computer, and of course all my brushless needs.

So I have yet another bit of advice to ask...

I have a "friend" who I no longer speak to / he no longer speaks to me for whatever reason (he one day just flipped and started treating me like sh!t so I didn't bother calling him anymore and he never called me so whatever). Not a big deal to me since his overall treatment of me wasn't quite up to par despite me treating him very nicely. I treated him to a bunch of stuff - even took him to the Long Beach Grand Prix when I had a spare ticket - they were pit row luxury box seats with catered lunch and a pace car ride too, so they weren't cheap!

My dad and I were supposed to go but my dad got sent on a business trip so he said I could take whoever - I regret it now...sorely.

So now the issue is that this tool is a bit obsessed with my girlfriend (for those that remember - same girl I took to prom - been almost 2 years now). He out of the blue will message her on AIM or send her a text message and she'll respond out of courtesy and he'll immediately start trashing on me (making stuff up) in the hopes she'll break up with me or something. She tells me every time this happens and we both laugh at how pathetic it is.

However, I've recently learned that he's kind of been stalking a few other girls.

I have to say he's a little obsessive. He liked this one girl and asked her out a bunch of times (way more than the 3 try rule) and even after she made clear she wasn't interested he was still all over her...and still is.

I looked up sociopath and he (very eerily) matches the criteria almost perfectly down to the letter.

So, my question is, should I go have a talk with him and make it clear he's to not talk to my girl at all or should I let him have his random text messages and AIM messages?

Any advice welcome.

t-maxxracer32 · 03.12.2010, 03:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BP-Revo

Well, good 'ole RCM has never let me down, from asking a girl out to prom, fixing RAID arrays on my computer, and of course all my brushless needs.

So I have yet another bit of advice to ask...

I have a "friend" who I no longer speak to / he no longer speaks to me for whatever reason (he one day just flipped and started treating me like sh!t so I didn't bother calling him anymore and he never called me so whatever). Not a big deal to me since his overall treatment of me wasn't quite up to par despite me treating him very nicely. I treated him to a bunch of stuff - even took him to the Long Beach Grand Prix when I had a spare ticket - they were pit row luxury box seats with catered lunch and a pace car ride too, so they weren't cheap!

My dad and I were supposed to go but my dad got sent on a business trip so he said I could take whoever - I regret it now...sorely.

So now the issue is that this tool is a bit obsessed with my girlfriend (for those that remember - same girl I took to prom - been almost 2 years now). He out of the blue will message her on AIM or send her a text message and she'll respond out of courtesy and he'll immediately start trashing on me (making stuff up) in the hopes she'll break up with me or something. She tells me every time this happens and we both laugh at how pathetic it is.

However, I've recently learned that he's kind of been stalking a few other girls.

I have to say he's a little obsessive. He liked this one girl and asked her out a bunch of times (way more than the 3 try rule) and even after she made clear she wasn't interested he was still all over her...and still is.

I looked up sociopath and he (very eerily) matches the criteria almost perfectly down to the letter.

So, my question is, should I go have a talk with him and make it clear he's to not talk to my girl at all or should I let him have his random text messages and AIM messages?

Any advice welcome.

I think a lot of it has to do with how your GF is handling it all. If he is just awkwardly friendly with her and it doesn't bother her then Id say stay away and let him be. If he is really a sociopath and you confront him he might flip out and go on a killing spree

I watch too much criminal minds

seriously though if he is not freaking your girlfriend out or anything then let him be. Once he crosses the line then you can step in and take some action.

Now if you are truly worried about him and the other girls he is stalking maybe talk to his parents if you still know them well enough.

Worse comes to worse you confront him and let him know that he needs to chill. Just don't come off too aggressive and ready to fight because if he does have mental issues he may not be so stable.

BP-Revo · 03.12.2010, 03:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by t-maxxracer32

I think a lot of it has to do with how your GF is handling it all. If he is just awkwardly friendly with her and it doesn't bother her then Id say stay away and let him be. If he is really a sociopath and you confront him he might flip out and go on a killing spree

I watch too much criminal minds

seriously though if he is not freaking your girlfriend out or anything then let him be. Once he crosses the line then you can step in and take some action.

Now if you are truly worried about him and the other girls he is stalking maybe talk to his parents if you still know them well enough.

Worse comes to worse you confront him and let him know that he needs to chill. Just don't come off too aggressive and ready to fight because if he does have mental issues he may not be so stable.

At worst he's 5'7" and 110lbs. I'm 6'2" and more than double the weight.

I don't know his parents well enough to talk to them (not that he respects his parents much anyway - he calls his mother a "stupid bitch" in front of us when we are at his house...makes for some very uncomfortable situations when she's staring him down but biting her tongue due to our presence).

I can't confront him about the other girls since he'll probably just deny it.

I have to say that he is one of those people that when you confront him he just blatantly says "I can do what I want" and pulls some BS reasoning out of his butt, or else I would have said something much earlier on.

It was just like back when my girl and I started dating. He wanted to take her to the movies alone and when I asked him what the hell he's said "I want to hang out with her and I can if I want." I nearly tore his head off that day but I simply just told her to ignore any invites he sent out.

squeeforever · 03.12.2010, 06:44 AM

I'd whoop his ass...

Honestly, I know thats not the best advice, but I have no tolerance for that sort of thing.

JERRY2KONE · **Dejavu -** 03.12.2010, 07:48 AM

For some reason this all sounds like DEJAVU. Did you post this up before?

Anyway regardless of how much begger you are if this freak is 2 cans short of a six pack you won't be much of a match for a 9mm to the face. DOn't approach this kid yourself. Until he crosses the line in some way just let him be. Your GF needs to just ignor his communications all together and make sure that the atmospher does not lead him on in any way. Then if he keeps going speak with the police and let them handle it. With the way things are today people just go off the deep end for no reason at all and this could end very badly for you, your GF, or anyone that gets in his way. Best thing to do is seperate yourself and your GF from this guy.

pinkpanda3310 · 03.12.2010, 08:34 AM

It sounds to me like your asking us because he is borderline of going too far for your comfort. The guy is obviously not stable so the more distance the better IMO. It doesn't sound like he will stop anytime soon, matter of fact sounds like he's on a downhill slide. If it was me I would tell him on no uncertain terms and maybe even change GF's number. Of course, by doing so you are going to stir his emotions but I would think the sooner you get GF off his list the better. He is not your friend so you are not going to help him through anything.

My method is not sound advice but distancing yourself some how is the best IMO.

JThiessen · 03.12.2010, 10:39 AM

Leave it alone. Your GF is doing a fine job of handling it, and unless you consider yourself a friend of his, you have no business with those other gals - they will handle their end of it.
My daughter had a similar experience with some guy randomly texting her. Her boyfriend flipped out, just one of his many episodes of jealosy. And that's why he's no longer dating that 6'1" model.....

TexasSP · 03.12.2010, 10:40 AM

Remember BP last time you may have been under age and now you are an adult which means you have to handle this more tactfully than being in high school.

Document what he does and all contact, I mean everything. (I have been through something similar and have family that are lawyers and in law enforcement). Make sure your GF clearly states that she doesn't want contact with him, and document this too. Save the AIM messages and back them up. Talk to your local law enforcement about what makes a clear violation so that you are prepared when you need to report him. I know California has some pretty strict laws regarding harassment and the like. When it gets to the point he has violated the law, get local law enforcement involved. Don't take any chances talking to him or making threats that can bite you in the butt. As a wise old friend I know always told us younger guys, "sometimes you can call a person and SOB without actually having to call them an SOB".

If he truly is a sociopath, you do not want to provoke him. Being the size he is probably makes it worse as I would imagine he has taken a lot of crap for it over his life.

georgec · 03.12.2010, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TexasSP

Remember BP last time you may have been under age and now you are an adult which means you have to handle this more tactfully than being in high school.

Document what he does and all contact, I mean everything. (I have been through something similar and have family that are lawyers and in law enforcement). Make sure your GF clearly states that she doesn't want contact with him, and document this too. Save the AIM messages and back them up. Talk to your local law enforcement about what makes a clear violation so that you are prepared when you need to report him. I know California has some pretty strict laws regarding harassment and the like. When it gets to the point he has violated the law, get local law enforcement involved. Don't take any chances talking to him or making threats that can bite you in the butt. As a wise old friend I know always told us younger guys, "sometimes you can call a person and SOB without actually having to call them an SOB".

If he truly is a sociopath, you do not want to provoke him. Being the size he is probably makes it worse as I would imagine he has taken a lot of crap for it over his life.

+1 Very sound advice indeed

BP-Revo · 03.12.2010, 02:05 PM

http://www.rc-monster.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11899

It's the same douchbag from that thread. Before I was his friend, now I'm not. But same ole damn situation...

To fill in the gap between the end of the thread and the start of this one, she actually ignored him for a solid 6 months to a year - didn't respond to any text/aim and she never saw him in person unless she was with me and he happened to get invited to the same thing I (we) did.

Involve the cops? Wow. Seems a little extreme, but maybe? My girlfriend does log all her aim conversations though.

Should I just tell her to ignore him? She'll do it if I ask her. She only responds to him about 25-50% of the times he messages her anyway.

simplechamp · 03.12.2010, 02:18 PM

Maybe I'm being a bit dense here, but why does she even keep talking to him on the computer and phone?

When she responds out of courtesy it just gives this guy a reason to keep trying. She's reinforcing his behavior, time to just ignore him.

georgec · 03.12.2010, 02:19 PM

Yes she should definitely ignore him!!!! Any communication from her to him could be perceived by him as interest in some kind of relationship in his twisted/lonely mind.

suicideneil · 03.12.2010, 02:39 PM

Ditto, time to cut all ties and comms- block his cell and email if possible. If he persists, or starts hanging round outside home/ walking past etc, then its time to involve the cops, even if its at an informal level to begin with.

He's clearly desperate for attention and has some kind of inferiority complex...

JERRY2KONE · **Dejavu -** 03.12.2010, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BP-Revo

http://www.rc-monster.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11899

It's the same douchbag from that thread. Before I was his friend, now I'm not. But same ole damn situation...

To fill in the gap between the end of the thread and the start of this one, she actually ignored him for a solid 6 months to a year - didn't respond to any text/aim and she never saw him in person unless she was with me and he happened to get invited to the same thing I (we) did.

Involve the cops? Wow. Seems a little extreme, but maybe? My girlfriend does log all her aim conversations though.

Should I just tell her to ignore him? She'll do it if I ask her. She only responds to him about 25-50% of the times he messages her anyway.

I knew this all sounded like DEJAVU. Look re-read that last thread and take all of the good advice we gave you back then. This should have all been taken care of almost two years ago. Stop playing games with this weirdo and put it to rest once and for all before it becomes something we see on "COPS" or "Murder Investigations" on the TV. If your so called GF is still communicating with him after that last bout of crap then she is enabling his obsession. She either needs to cut all ties with him, or you need to cut her loose yourself before she gets you into trouble. Considering what you shared with us the last time and your story now she is fueling this whole thing and causing you alot of discomfort, and for what? It is begining to sound like she is playing games with the both of you. The answers now are going to be the same as the ones we gave you the last time you brought this up. Cut it loose.