why is my quark getting so hot?

Gorilla, if you can't solder, I don't know what to tell you. You could try just adding the Monster heatsink and a couple of 40mm fans. Maybe your internal pads are working. I know that mine weren't stuck and I had to do the mod.

As for another controller, the Compro will run the Neu motors, and they do run cooler than the Quarks. The Compro, however, is not as smooth as the Quark. With my setup being a Spektrum radio and the Compro, starting from a stop is kind of abrupt.