Caleb's leaving....

[Gee]

How you holding up Harold? I hope you realize Caleb has been telling everyone what a great time he had and how smart and cool his dad is. According to your description I doubt he is bragging about letting you win. So that's good news right?


Jerry that's good advice from our resident Dr. Jerry. There something about expereice that carries more weight then when it quoted from a book. I agreed and it is real simalar to what I believe. The only thing is I didn't feel bad about not forking over the allowance on a poor no pay. The chores were inspected if you will, and they either got a pass with pay or a poor no pay rating.

FYI: There are over 30 STD that can be contracted today by our little ones. Some incurable, some fatal. How many were there when you were trying to convice you first gf you loved her?

Jayjay it's cool that you care enough about these kids to make a difference. Beleive me you are going to make a difference and at times it will not seem like it. Kids can be cunning and devioius, and if they know which buttons to push... well lets just hope they all don't push them at the same time. lol Being consistent will make a differnce for them and you. Like jerrys morning drill is consistent but also consistent with each of them individually. It will be easier to build trust. If you say your door is always open for them to talk about anything. Well make sure you mean it before you say it and that it is always open. Even during the Superbowl if that when they come calling. It doesn't take but the first minute to find out if timmy is in the well or they need new shoes. Punishments should be consistent also the rewards for positive behaviour. Sound like training a dog don't it. If they make a mess don't rub thier nose in it. You might get a visit from the CPS. Unlike dogs you do not have to catch them in the act for them to know why they are being given punishment.
You know there would be people that in your situatioin that would only be thinking they just need to get through the next couple of years. Maybe feeling some self pity and slurring out the question "Why did this happen to me, I had plans. I could of been a contender.", etc. I get the impression you've made the committment to be there until it's time for you to get off this rock. If you haven't told them they are stuck with you from here on out. Sit em down and let them know your going to be expecting nicer gifts on fathers as the years on the job start accumulating. Also, you will still hold them accountable for the actions even when they are in their 30's. You are there for them now and will be there for them in the future. It's better to get that out of the way. Just incase they are thinking that all they need to do is get through the next couple of years. Nope, they are not getting off that easier. We don't need anymore young adults on welfare. So we tax payers are counting on you jayjay to stick with this. You can't make a difference in thier lives if you jerk the steering wheel and I can't afford anymore taxes. Joking aside. You can stand tall and be proud of what you are doing. There's some hard work ahead but it will be worth it. You know, there are people out there that think they are a "man", but a swinging dick don't make you a man. IMHO What you are doing makes a man. You have my respect.

[JERRY2KONE]

GEE you are the man. Experience is the best teacher for sure. One of the frist things we did last year was to tell our kids that they were not moving to Korea just because they had to, but because we loved them and this is their life now. No running home to grandma's house or aunte whatever. This is our family now and we have to work together to make it the best that it can be for all of us. Sure it was hard for them to swallow, but it finally has sunk in. It is amazing to think of how they were a year ago, and how they behave now after a year of us coaching them along. I just had the discussion with them yesterday about how our relationship is one of mutual trust, and respect. We will trust and respect them until they give us a reason not to. THey have to turst and respect us to do right by them. So they are starting with a clean slate, and where it goes from here is up to them. Our entire extended family is amazed with how much they have improved in just 12 months.

You know your kid is a great young man Harold. Like Gee stated be proud of that fact, and like a new plant you just have to give him love and encouragement to continue to grow in the right direction. Isn't parenthood great? Once you get how it works it is the coolest thing we get to do as adults.