Lets see some jokes

[reno911]

Another crotchless joke...

So after 10 years of marriage she was thinking she could spice things up on their anniversary. She went to the local adult shop and purchased herself some crotchless panties and a set of pasties.

When she returned home, waiting for her husband to get off work, she got into her panties and applied her pasties. Then she put on her nicest robe and decorated the entry way, stairs, all the way to the bed with rose peddles. She lit some candles and waited.

The door open and she heard her husband making his way up to the bedroom. He openned the door...

"Hi their you sexy man, come make love to me," as she pulled off her robe.

He replied, "Holy crap, if your vagina can do that to your panties I am afraid of what it can do to my penis!"

[pinkpanda3310]

In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, it's Africa

One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in cells. It appears that Lebanese and Abbos is not the correct answer

I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's iPad after realising that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.

George Clooney is to star in a new film about Gary Glitter, called "Oh, She's Eleven."

My wife told me I was no longer romantic so I booked a table for the two of us on Valentine's Night. Turns out she's really crap at snooker

There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in Melbourne but I've been banned from there after asking to look at some bomber jackets…


A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Oh that’s easy, Derek’s got a moustache!"

A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor. "Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard who drinks a lot and his wife Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair."