To spank or not?

[PBO]

This should be an interesting topic!

Here's an Australian article about an American report

Personally, 1 quick smack used sparingly, in the correct context works wonders in our house. It may be because it is relatively rare that it happens or because it ends a situation then & there & everyone can get on with their lives...



http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life...0414-scse.html


Spanking makes children more aggressive
April 14, 2010 - 2:04PM
Comments 16

Violence begets violence ... study finds spanking makes children more aggressive.
Children who are spanked frequently at age three are more likely to be aggressive when they're five, a recent study has found.

The results reinforce earlier studies which have found that children who are spanked have lower IQ scores and that frequent spanking has been linked to anxiety and behavior problems and higher risk of violent or criminal behavior, depression and excessive alcohol use.

Researchers surveyed 2500 mothers across the United States.

Nearly half said they had not spanked their three-year-old in the past month, while 27.9 per cent said reported one or two spankings and 26.5 per cent reported spanking more than twice.

Two years later, the mothers who had spanked their children more frequently reported higher levels of aggression such as arguing, screaming, fighting, destroying things, cruelty or bullying in their five-year-olds.

The results held true even when researchers accounted for potentially confounding factors such as the presence of aggression within the family and parental stress, depression and drug or alcohol use.

"There are ways to discipline children effectively that do not involve hitting them and that can actually lower their risk for being more aggressive," said lead author Catherine Taylor of the Tulane University School of Public Health.

"So the good news is, parents don't have to rely on spanking to get the results that they want," Taylor said in a press release.

"If they avoid spanking but instead use effective, non-physical types of discipline, their child has a better chance of being healthier, and behaving better later."

The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly opposes striking children for any reason and recommends time outs, withholding privileges and logical consequences like taking toys away for the rest of the day if a child does not pick them up.

The study, which will be published in the May issue of the journal Pediatrics, was released on Monday.

[snellemin]

I use to get spanked and beaten by Catholic priest all the time. I came out allright.

[Finnster]

So do the children have lower IQs bc they are spanked, or are they spanked bc they (and their parents) have low IQs? ;)

Spanking or "smack on the bom" is the last option we use when all else fails. I've only ever truly spanked by 4yo once, last week actually. (and he was really misbehaving)

Overall we use more psycological methods such as timeouts, loss of privledges, early bedtime, loss of treats after dinner, loss of toys/books for the night, etc. as well as positive things such as games, challenges and rewards for accomlpishment. Its like constant psychological warfare lol.

Sometimes he needs a smack on the bom (rarely, usually threat of it is enough) to refocus his mind when all the other tactics are failing. Sometimes, such as if he's really tired &/or hungry, logic gets useless w. him and he's too stuck in the moment or emotion of being upset and not listening and the (threat of ) smacking breaks the logjam.

I've noticed he gets into little spells every now and then where the above tactics are less effective and he's more easily upset and not listening. Seems like he's going thru a growth spurt or something and just seems to be running on hormones and emotions. Goes on for a few days, then some climax of bad behavior, stronger punishment, then a big cry, then he's over it all and good as gold for a long time. Wierd (this was the case w/ the recent spanking too.)

Overall he's a really good kid and tries v hard to be good and is most of the time. IDK too many parents that just beat the S out of their kid alot, but I knew a few growing up. The F'ups I knew usually had parents who where quick to hit and slower to think.

[snellemin]

A smack or a some spanking is needed at times to refocus their attention at times. I agree with Finnster with that one. I don't have to raise my hand to my kid no more. Raising my voice is enough now. He's an honor roll kid, but just love to talk alot in class lol.

My father use to beat me with a belt and the priest in school beat me with a bat just 'cause I questioned the bible and whatnot. Oldschool vs Newschool mentality(science) didn't go so well with those catholic priest.

[suicideneil]

My siblings & I ( proper posh sounding ) were smacked occasionally, but only when we needed really for doing something quite naughty. I'd say overuse of spanking as a form of punishment just shows a lack of parental control / knowing how to effectively deal with a poorly behaved or moody child, but a spank here & there is perfectly acceptable I believe; not that you'll convince the human rights nazis who want all punishment banned, whether its done in home or in public ( just let the little sods scream, shout and misbehave without being able to stop them... yeah, good idea ).

Side note: did you see that the vatican tried to blame the paedo-priest scandal on homosexuals? Religious types eh?...

[TexasSP]

It's like anything, should be used only when necessary and in moderation. If you are having to use any form of punishment over and over it is obviously not working and something else should be tried. You also have to cater the punishment and/or correction to the personality and temperament of the individual. There is no one size fits all solution to behavior problems.

My son is strong willed and now and then it takes spanking to set him back on course. However most of the time we start with raising our voice, then to counting, then to time out (we have him stand in corner with hands behind back, works wonders), sometimes things get taken away (ie: toys, privileges, etc), then as a last resort spanking.

We do however not use our hands as it sends the wrong message. There is a wooden spoon for this which stings more than hurts.

One thing my wife and I both do is to talk to our son before and after he is spanked and we do not do it when angry. We make sure he fully understands what he did wrong and that we love him no matter what. It is always followed by hugs and talking. After it's over life goes on and we don't stay upset.

Now some kids don't need spanked as other methods work equally well if not better. With some kids them just knowing you are upset is enough.

[magman]

IMO a good swift spanking is except-able if as stated above, it's not an everyday occurrence and done only when the child really misbehaves. I have spanked my 11 yr. old a total of maybe 5 times. She knows that when my voice is only slightly elevated, that she is in trouble.

Personally when I was a kid...41 now, we had MUCH MORE respect for parents, teachers, etc... and usually would not think of crossing them. Today however it's totally different. A good majority of the kids today have no respect/fear of consequences.. period. As Neil stated already, if the yahoo's of the world continue down the same path it's going to get a lot worse. IMO if a little smack in the A** from time to time gets kids to respect people more...so be it.

Sorry if I ran off topic a bit...just ranting

[BrianG]

I got my butt whacked when I messed up as a kid, and I turned out fine. IQ is much better than some of my hick neighbors that's for sure! If done right and hard enough a couple/few times, it shouldn't be needed in the future. Kinda like the paragon of power; if you have the power and are not afraid to use it (and the kid knows it), then you generally don't have to use it. Even at a young age, I'm sure kids can make the association that bad behavior=pain.

I think that "time-outs" and "talks" are only effective if they work. If the kid doesn't respond to the passive measures, harsher measures (spanks) are needed. I also think that society is far too lenient. It's getting so parents can't smack their kid when they deserve it for fear of social services coming down on them. So what you have is a buch of punks that know there are no real repercussions for bad behavior, so they do what they want.

[PedeBasher]

Originally Posted by BrianG

I also think that society is far too lenient. It's getting so parents can't smack their kid when they deserve it for fear of social services coming down on them. So what you have is a buch of punks that know there are no real repercussions for bad behavior, so they do what they want.

I dont even think its so much fear, but parents want their kids to have a better childhood then they did. They want a comfortable relationship because they know when they were kids, they were in fear of doing anything wrong and they realize its not healthy.

Most of my friends can just joke around with their parents and I think that is healthy as long as the kids know their boundaries. Some parents forget that little detail and thats when they end up with the pot-head son.

[lincpimp]

Originally Posted by BrianG

I also think that society is far too lenient. It's getting so parents can't smack their kid when they deserve it for fear of social services coming down on them. So what you have is a buch of punks that know there are no real repercussions for bad behavior, so they do what they want.

HA, then those punks meet me, and I do not take shit, from anyone. I have never been in a fight, but I have told off whoever I feel is in the wrong. I can usually stike a never pretty good vocally, and do not have any issues making people feel 2 inches tall. Being 5'10" stocky and pissed usually makes people think twice, I look like I could take a hit and not go down...

I do agree that people are given way too much rope, and the rest of us are not allowed to hang them with it.

[lincpimp]

Why bother spanking? I find waving the gun around to be very effective. Especially in public and not just when kids do something wrong, seems to work with people of all ages (especially democrats, cause you know they are not packin').

The threat of a spanking was often enough when I was a kid, but I also knew that if the threat did not work the spanking was next, guaranteed. Never had to wonder if my parents were all talk, they would lay down the law if necessary. I was always told off before I was spanked, and plan to do that with my kid whenever I get around to knocking the wife up (too many other projects).

[squeeforever]

Originally Posted by lincpimp

Why bother spanking? I find waving the gun around to be very effective. Especially in public and not just when kids do something wrong, seems to work with people of all ages (especially democrats, cause you know they are not packin').

The threat of a spanking was often enough when I was a kid, but I also knew that if the threat did not work the spanking was next, guaranteed. Never had to wonder if my parents were all talk, they would lay down the law if necessary. I was always told off before I was spanked, and plan to do that with my kid whenever I get around to knocking the wife up (too many other projects).

I'm pretty much like you. Forget throwing punches, that doesn't teach people anything. Waving a gun though makes them a little more hesitant to mess with people.

As for the spanking results in a lower IQ, I doubt it. Alot of kids these days are just plain more stupid than previous generations (no offense to anyone), but what do you expect when they have every video game known to man and there parents don't do jack to punish them. Just my opinion though.
I was spanked as a kid, and I turned out fine, and it didn't affect my IQ. Last IQ test I took, it was 132, and the first time I took the ACT I got a 27. I think that study is BS.

[brushlessboy16]

Not being able to sit for 6hrs is plenty for a kid to remember (worked for me). Doesnt even have to be bad, Make the kid go get the spanking device.. more of a mind trick.... always scared the crap out of me.

[PBO]

I was reminded that I'd crossed the line with a belt, shaving strap, bamboo cane, vacuum cleaner extension, wooden spoon...I was a slow learner

When I was caned at school. I didn't flinch. It pissed the sadist so much he'd jump off a chair when caning me

Reminds me...I was called up for some caning along with the class tough guy (seperate reasons from memory) & he was tough talking about caning the teacher with his own cane. He was pretty tough...he did it! The teacher cried after a few accross the face. T'was the tough guys last day at school, he broke the cane & kept on walking

[rootar]

when i started school i had problems from this one kid every single day. Kid would pinch, bite, or shove on me every day and the teacher's never did anything more than "talk" to him or put him in time out. So after about 2 months of this my dad told me to punch the kid in the nose "jokingly" one afternoon on the way home. Well next day kid was shoving me while we were on top of the platform about to go down the big slide (maybe 6 feet tall) so i turned around, decked the bastard and he fell off the back to the ground on his head. He was knocked out cold for 2 minutes. The teachers thought he just fell off but my happy ass was standing right there claiming "i got him" "my daddy told me to aim right here (pointing to my nose)"

I think it was chris rock that said "some kids just need to be knocked the hell out" I'll agree him.

as for me i only called my parents bluff a handfull of times when i was a child, (under 13) and they beat the shit out of me. But after i was 13-14 i was too busy working to buy things and being good to keep the shit i bought