my ignorance has led me into a situation.
 

Well me being the thoughtful guy i am i wanted to get the girly something nice for christmas, we've ben together for 6 years and living together for 2 now. After much thought on either a video camera, new camera lense, or somthing of that nature i some how ended up buying a diamond ring. :oops:

So how my ignorance has played into this was that i was thinking she needed something to go with the diamond earings and necklace i got for her a couple years ago. I was looking and didn't really see any bracelets that would match or that she would even wear that often, then i saw this ring that was just awesome, looked perfect to match the other diamonds and fit her perfectly. So, i bought it, knowing nothing about rings and jewlery come to find out this an engagement ring.

Now how do i give this to her with out it being wierd. We agreed to wait a couple more years to get married, So far im thinking "Here, im not asking but this means im going to ask eventually" :neutral: anybody have any ideas?

freeze nobody asked for pics of your old lady......



lol, jk

What exactly makes it an "engagement" ring? I don't understand it either... It's a circle of metal with a rock crimped on top... :rofl:

I would just give it to her and pretend you had absolutely no idea if she mentions anything along those lines. :whistle:

Too late to take it back and get something else? Maybe a ring that is more clearly not an engagement ring?

Take it back immediately! :lol: Or keep it, but dont give it to her for another 2yrs when you pop the question. Any gold circular item with a diamond attatched to it will be construed as a wedding ring wether it was meant to be one or not lol. But remember, studies have shown that marriage is the #1 cause of divorce! :rules:

All kidding aside, congrats on the eventual engagement :party:

Heres my take on the matter.
 

OK so here is my take on the matter:rules:. Look you have even admitted to us that you plan on getting married in a couple of years, right:lol:? So whats the big dea:neutral:l? By giving her the ring and asking her to marry you, all you are doing is setting up for the big day:whistle:. Some engagements last several years, and either of you can end it at any time if desired:yes:. If you already have plans on getting married then why not get engaged. All that does is let everyone else know what you two already do. Your both commited to this relationship and plan to make it legal at some point:party:. What are you afraid of? The only thing you are putting on the line by giving her the ring now is that you spent the money on the ring and you have no right to get it back unless she backs out of the marriage. You still have the inate ability to call it off if you get cold feet, or find yourself embroiled in an affair along the way with another potential wife:intello:. I think your making too much out of giving her the ring.

I say sack up and give it to her, I'm sure you'll make her very happy with it. If the question comes up about "when", just fall back on the wait 2 more year conversation.

Congrats !

grow a pair and get engaged man! Like what was said before,just stay engaged for the 2yrs before your married. And congrats on the probable marriage!--Josh

Well, if you want to get engaged go for it. Outherwise do not give her the ring. My friend got a promise ring from a guy who said he would marry her and it all went downhill from there...

I was engaged for 14months, and did get married and I view it as a good thing. But you have lived together for a while now so you should be familiar with each other. On the other hand more commitment does change things, and marriage changes things alot. Difficult decision dude, good luck.

If you like her pop the question, if you are still making up your mind keep the ring and buy her something else, like a chainsaw or something you can use.

Oh yeah, how old are you? Early 20s IIRC?

I'm gonna get a nicer engagement than this when i ask, I guess I'll find a way to give it to her. She is not expecting anything so that shoud make it easier.

Yea we've been living together for a couple years, (which is great) definetly no regrets which just seals the deal even more. But i'm not gonna ask until this summer or fall, just bad timing right now, prolly on my vacation this summer.

yes james early 20s, Im graduatiing college for the 2nd time soon, and she will be working on her phd this year. So we aren't in a big hurry.

Just do it already... 2 year+ engagement isn't unusual- Worst case you are out a ring which you are giving her anyway....


A diamond solitaire is an engagement ring - either change it or man up...

Based on your post go for it..

I was engaged for about 4 years before we actually were married, an engagement isn't a pressure situation, just a meaningful commitment and since you've already had the conversation then this just makes it a little more real.

Here is a much better gift idea:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhwbxEfy7fg

Haha, the guy from lonely island,awesome!--Josh

Personally, I would ask some women their perspective on what giving a diamond ring means to them. Maybe ask a friend of hers who won't betray your trust. We can all speculate but I think you need to get a little closer to the source on this one.

In my experience, and being married myself, a diamond ring from you to her in her mind means one thing. Solitaire or not, as my wife's was not a solitaire. She actually likes band rings better with smaller diamonds.

Either way, check with someone besides a bunch of dudes in an rc forum.

Just call it a "Promise Ring". Girls make up all kinds of silly names for jewelry.

Good point. Some of us haven't been laid in almost a year and a few, probably never. So what would we know about a womans needs anyway?

You know your girl and your situation better than anyone else on here, if you aren't ready to get engaged, don't do it. You probably want to have something more planned anyhow. I'd say you really have two options, give her something else and save/return the ring, or give her the ring as you had originally intended, but possibly preface it with saying something that distinguishes it as just a gift and not as any sort of commitment or engagement. I just gave my girl a diamond ring last night for our anniversary and she didn't assume it was an engagement ring. If you guys have talked about waiting a bit to get married, she probably won't assume it's an engagement ring, but you know her better than anyone else.

Good luck!

why would you let what anybody else says change what you are doing?

You wanted to give her a ring, so give her a ring. If she questions it say that it is to match her necklace and earrings- the truth.

And if she looks at all disappointed when you say it is not an engagement ring, tell her what you told us- the engagement ring will be much bigger.

Stop second guessing yourself!

Itll all work out good, i just thought this would be funny to let yall read in on my situation.


It is not a solitare, but its pretty close so i guess i should post a picture.

This confirms soo many things about you Freeze! I just won 20 bucks from about 10 members here. Pay up guys! :lol:

i had decided this before posting but it was fun hearing other's opinions :whistle:

You'er screwed.

Sparky

Error, none found...

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If its ment to be then I wouldnt worry about her getting the wrong idea, just dont go down on one knee when you give it her; if she asks 'what's this?', I'd agree with telling her its to match her other jewelery, so dont panic dear :lol:

If however she opens the box, looks at you and flings herself around you whilst yelling 'yes!', then you may have issues telling her its not an engagement ring.. :lol:

What if, instead, a look of horror comes across her face when she opens it?
:lol:


I have to say this:

Any woman in a relationship who gets a diamond ring from her man is going to immediately think it's an engagement ring!! (my wife strongly agrees with this statement)

Man, who took the other side of that bet?!




OP: To me it seems like it would be a engagement ring, but at the end of the day depends on your girl and where you guys are at. Since I don't know her, I can't say other than all the views listed could be true. Maybe you bought it yourself knowing what it means and are trying to get yourself to follow thru on it. IDK. Either way GL and congrats on having a nice woman. They are to be treasured.

What do you mean Finn? All women are nice*.









* assuming correct payment is made at desired intervals.

Of course. :) Keeping anything nice requires a lot of maintenance, fees and upkeep, and an inordinate amt of attention and constant devotion. If you work really hard, get all your chores done, maybe you can take her out for a ride on weekend.

Wait what were talking about?

They are all nice. The worst I have ever had was great. :wink: Now keeping them that way is another bag of worms :whistle:

Sparky

Dollar amount?
 

So the one factor you left out of this thread was a dollar amount. So give us an idea what was spent for this ring? That will also help in deciding what this ring represents.

I mean if you spent a sizable amount of $$$$ on this ring, then I would want to get my money's worth our of it. Otherwise you will have to go much bigger for a better ring to represent an engagement ring. You would be setting the bar pretty high, and setting yourself up.

Don't worry jerry its not in the 4 digits, id rather not say what i spent but its somewhere between an D8 and a Mp9 kit :lol:



I know she is gonna love it, although the only hard part will be telling both of our families that its "just a ring" im sure you guys know how them old women like to jump to conclusions :lol: We'll prolly call ahead before we go to either of the houses to tell them that way they won't be let down. I know the girly won't be let down because she said she would kill me if i ever asked her on a holiday or birthday.:neutral: so atleast thats settled.

No no
 

Yea for some thats a definite NO NO. They want that special day to be solitary with nothing else going on to interfer or take away from the moment. Gheeeze why do they have to make everything so darnned complicated. I like the fact that my wife looks at things from a more simplistic view. I am always telling her that I am just a man, and that I do not read minds. We try our best to keep things down to Earth. Good luck with your adventure.

So, what happend when she opened her present?

updates! updates!! hope it went well....not in the doghouse are ya? :whistle:

No answer???
 

No answer:eyes:, so she must have shoved her high heal into his eye:gasp:.

It could be read either way but hopefully this means it went well :wink:

she loved it of course and im definetly not in the dog house.... here is a picture i grabbed of it in the car while she was holding the camera bag.

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._4291612_n.jpg

Well???
 

So are you engaged or not? Just posting a pic of the ring doesn't tell us anything. Did you pop the question, or did you wiggle your way out of it with some lame excuse? I don't get why people are so afriad of getting married. You win some you lose some. Getting married is not the end of your life ya know. You just have to make sure you choose correctly. Sometimes it takes more than one try to get it right. We would all love to get married once and be done with it, but that is just not being realistic these days. People change and even some are not who they say they are.

I used to think marriage was not that big of a deal. That was before I got married. Someone pointed out to me that everyone is different, also my parents said it should be a once only deal so we need to think beyond the young and fancy free lifestyle.

Now married with kids, I think it was not that big of a deal for me. I had 7 people at my wedding. I think our relationship is very good. No reason (and no point) for regrets.

If that someone is a person you can see yourself growing old with as life changes then it's gotta be good.

That ring looks good on her hand I reckon, even if it's not a glossy magazine shot, it still looks good:smile: