engineering scholarship essay. what do you think?

[JERRY2KONE]

Originally Posted by t-maxxracer32

damn jerry didnt realize that was a rewrite just thought it was a copy and paste of mine for some reason

just finished reading it and and its heck of alot better. much more professional.

thanks alot man i really do appreciate it.

so it seems all i need is a closing statement..?

All I did was copy and paste your writeup into a Word Doc, and then reoganize your work a little bit. I removed and/or changed a few words around just to clean it up some and bring it into a more adult view. Then I broke it up into a few paragraphs to make it read like a book. Lastly I copied and pasted the word doc into that last post.

99% of it is your wording. My best advice to you is that you need to spend more time reading so your eyes and brain get more familiar with how things are supposed to look. The younger generation has spent way too much time playing video games and texting in short hand on their cell phones instead of learning how to read & wirte properly. Believe me I am no pro either, but we all have to do our part to learn the English language if we expect incoming aliens to do it. Our writing skills are becoming much too watered down with all of the crap that is being allowed in our high schools. You asked for advice so there you have it. When allot of us were kids trying to get into college you would have never gotten in without having writing skills. I tell my kids now that it should be our goal every day when we wake up to work on becoming better people while we are on this Earth. I am sure that you have heard the saying that "Knowledge is Power". It all starts with properly understanding the English language. The more knowledge you have the more powerful you will become.

[lincpimp]

Originally Posted by JERRY2KONE

All I did was copy and paste your writeup into a Word Doc, and then reoganize your work a little bit. I removed and/or changed a few words around just to clean it up some and bring it into a more adult view. Then I broke it up into a few paragraphs to make it read like a book. Lastly I copied and pasted the word doc into that last post.

99% of it is your wording. My best advice to you is that you need to spend more time reading so your eyes and brain get more familiar with how things are supposed to look. The younger generation has spent way too much time playing video games and texting in short hand on their cell phones instead of learning how to read & wirte properly. Believe me I am no pro either, but we all have to do our part to learn the English language if we expect incoming aliens to do it. Our writing skills are becoming much too watered down with all of the crap that is being allowed in our high schools. You asked for advice so there you have it. When allot of us were kids trying to get into college you would have never gotten in without having writing skills. I tell my kids now that it should be our goal every day when we wake up to work on becoming better people while we are on this Earth. I am sure that you have heard the saying that "Knowledge is Power". It all starts with properly understanding the English language. The more knowledge you have the more powerful you will become.

+1, read a few good books. Not shakespeare, but some Hemingway and the other greats of the past century. You could also thumb thru a thesaurus, that helps get some fresh words into your mind.

[Finnster]

Originally Posted by _paralyzed_

Everyone has their faults. and for me at times I can be somewhat of a procrastinator. I can take longer than I want to finish projects because I can spend considerable amount of time working out all the details. I am trying to learn to focus on the essential details to produce a product that meets my own high standards while making efficient use of my time.


remove the bolded, that's just bashing yourself. Saying you take longer than you want is enough of a fault. Add the period after "faults" like I did.

nobody likes a procrastinator!

It's looking a lot better!!

True. Don't sell yourself short in any of this. Sounds bad and wastes space on your paper anyway.

I made some quick edits, but its no where definative. Basically still some fat to cut and polishing is needed. See attached doc file.

Originally Posted by lincpimp

I am sure Freeze has some extra "unused" material from his pants that he can donate to your cause Finn. I feel your pain but luckily I managed to buy out MC Hammer's entire wardrobe when he fell on hard times. Plenty of room in those parachute pants for me!

As for the pot and hooker comment, I would say you plagarized me, I put something in a college paper about booze and skanks... Got an A on that one. Mostly due to the fact that I cited my sources for the skanks... and included samples of the booze.

I thought it was improper to cite yourself as a source material?

Interesting idea. I had been taught by by my dear old father and namesake to wear kilts. While warm and forgiving, they can lead to moments of impropreity. Last year my dad and I attended an airshow, vintage aircraft being a lifelong passion of his. Needless to say, stumbling upon the beautifully restored P-51D "Old Crow" parked in the field led to quite an embarrassing situation. Fortunately, the cries of the children were mostly drowned out by the screams of the women. Hehe, my old Pop, still got it after all these years.