That's funny. That reminds me of my most recent bi-polar (not bi-sexual) ex-fiancee. Wasn't too long after a couple of the young mormons on thier mission had a couple nice afternoon talks with her. She adopted thier faith, moved out, - directly across the street from my living room window. Left here daughter her for me to take care of. Thank God, her duaghter and I both exclaimed. Made a pact with her God as their faith requires, swearing off the tabacco, coffee, all the fun stuff right up the list to my favorite at the time, adultry. Well it wasn't long and she was breaking every one of those pacts she made except for one. You probably already geussed that she never got a divorce from her husband of 3month she married around 12 years earlier. They did not have a legal binding contract of marrige located in a hall of records when the bible was written, you haven't been his wife for how many years? This is a technicality, I am sure the man upstairs has statue of limitations on marrages like that. Well couldn't convience her no matter what logic I tried. Logic never work with her. I had a set of blue balls I would of carried around in a bucket of ice if I could of found a bucket that big. So yeah, I would let you in, you don't need to bring any bibles. I got a stack of em her. I let young missonaries in when ever they stop by. They try to hurry and leave but I have a lot of questions about the future, past and present situation, and few old tricks, so it's more difficult to get out then it really looks. They were a nice couple of kids just doing there duty like you and me. I did stopped putting dents in the bibles representiatives foreheads with my pistol. Telling them to get off my poarch when I first meet them now. Found out I could get arrested doing it on the poarch. So we all have to make sacrafices to lure enemies into our residences to punish those that really deserve it. The really cool thing is the church rotate the missionaries around. So every so ofthen I get a new set and the funs start all over. Kinda like hunting season, but don't need a permit or tags for these. I knew she wasn't going to be the one that I wand to wear depends with. Iwas looking for a way out, but when you make a commitement to make sure a young girl graduates, grows up with a little self respect, and doesn't turn out like her mother. Dam it you honer it or you, me, and every other responsible hard working tax payer foots the welfare check for generations. Somebody needs to stop the cycle. I really owe the young guys for doing me a big favoiur. I telll them right afte they tell me they are being relocated agian. They moved all off her crap accross the street. I hate moving with a passion, whole nother book on that. Hell, I didn't help her move in, I sure the hell wasn't going to help her move out. I sold my F-250 so people would stop going. " Hey Guy, you got a truck don't you?" F*** NO - Not anymore buddy, and I don't know anything at all about computers, and I have NO spare change today, again, so don't ask. Ony time you ever call or come over is because you need something something from me. Brothers? What can you do.... Why he has to panhandle on the corner the block at work. He knows I have to walk right by him. All is good now. I never talk to that ex and I have made several frieinds through that adventure that are a part of the mormon church. They don't drink all my beer or bum smokes from me. My brother brings in 3 figures a year, turns out he's a better begger then a thief. 
It will be great to meet you in person. I'm sure you have some good stories. I will break out the good jelly jars for our beverages when you make. Will have to get the jelly out first but shouldn't take long. You want me to wait so you can get the jelly out of your own jar? Keep your lid too it fits all kind of jars, keeps the spilling down to a minimum. Waste not, want not. Give me weeks notice so I can grease the pig up real good. It no fun if you catch if too fast. Got to give the coals time to setup. Yee Haw!
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