Who stays and who goes?

[JERRY2KONE]

[QUOTE=fastbaja5b;347374]Well as it is I've agreed to ditch one, and put the funds in my son's college fund out of her reach

So let me share my veiw about college funds. There have been a few studies done about the wealth of having your parents pay for your college as apposed to working your own way through school, or acqiring some level of scholarship. We have five adult children who have all found their own way through college, and in fact one of them is working on her Masters degree right now. None of them recieved or asked us for money, because we raised them with the belief that if they truly want to go to school they will find their own way to do it, and have more respect for where the money is going. With the economy being what it is today saving for your kids to go to school 15 years from now, when you have no idea whether or not they will even go to college is the least of our financial problems. Not finding a happy medium with finances in a family is the number one killer of a marriage. You have to work on, and reach some sort of an agreement to which both parties are somewhat satisfied with their half of the responsibilities. If you can aford it the play money has to be almost on the same level as well or there is going to be jealousy at some point that will explode into arguments that will end your relationship. Along with that needs to be some level of equal input towards paying the way for the lifestyle you have. We are not in the 1950's any more. If you want a woman to respect you then you have to lay down the law in YOUR HOUSEHOLD and stand by your principles. If not then you are doomed to being treated like a child yourself.

[JThiessen]

A little highjack here - Jerry, how did you find a way around the FAFSA forms. They seem almost taylored to spefically make the families pay. I agree with your stance on making the kids responsible for paying their way through (using loans/jobs). But they way the system is set up now, it was impossible for my step-daughter to qualify due to my income. Thats the other part that ticks me off - if I were to divorce my wife (which I dont intend to - at least not today...), all of those loans are in my name, not hers, or the daughter.

[nitrostarter]

Originally Posted by JThiessen

A little highjack here - Jerry, how did you find a way around the FAFSA forms. They seem almost taylored to spefically make the families pay. I agree with your stance on making the kids responsible for paying their way through (using loans/jobs). But they way the system is set up now, it was impossible for my step-daughter to qualify due to my income. Thats the other part that ticks me off - if I were to divorce my wife (which I dont intend to - at least not today...), all of those loans are in my name, not hers, or the daughter.

Same thing happened with my parent's income disqualifying me. Problem was that my parent's took Jerry's approach and I had to fund myself through college even though they forced me to go. Luckily, my scores were good enough to land an almost full ride through 4yrs. I only had to shell out some book and fee money.

Those FAFSA form are exactly that, a deterrent from anything above lower income family to getting public assistant to further their education. Way to go Congress.

[t-maxxracer32]

Originally Posted by JERRY2KONE

So let me share my veiw about college funds. There have been a few studies done about the wealth of having your parents pay for your college as apposed to working your own way through school, or acqiring some level of scholarship. We have five adult children who have all found their own way through college, and in fact one of them is working on her Masters degree right now. None of them recieved or asked us for money, because we raised them with the belief that if they truly want to go to school they will find their own way to do it, and have more respect for where the money is going. With the economy being what it is today saving for your kids to go to school 15 years from now, when you have no idea whether or not they will even go to college is the least of our financial problems. Not finding a happy medium with finances in a family is the number one killer of a marriage. You have to work on, and reach some sort of an agreement to which both parties are somewhat satisfied with their half of the responsibilities. If you can aford it the play money has to be almost on the same level as well or there is going to be jealousy at some point that will explode into arguments that will end your relationship. Along with that needs to be some level of equal input towards paying the way for the lifestyle you have. We are not in the 1950's any more. If you want a woman to respect you then you have to lay down the law in YOUR HOUSEHOLD and stand by your principles. If not then you are doomed to being treated like a child yourself.

Im going to have to disagree about your view on a college fund. My parents have college funds for me, my brother, and sister and if one of us decides not to go to college they can easily pull the money out and stash it in their savings account. They paid in 150(50 each child) a month since each of us were born and now each of us have about 20k for college. You think that if kids arent paying for their college then they will take it as a joke? the only way that happens is if you raise your kids to think that by giving them everything they've ever wanted. I have seen that happen and it is embarrassing, but not all kids are like that. I respect my parents for building this college fund and i am truly blessed that i do not have to graduate with 20-30k in debt by loans. I will be working while going to college, but that will be savings for my future. College is hella expensive now and without college funds or some type of huge grant some kids just cant afford to make it.
Also gotta realize... once parents are too old to work and need assisted living the kids are the one who need to step up to the plate and take care of them! if they never took care of you when you were a child whos to say if you will take care of them

[JERRY2KONE]

There are exceptions to ever rule, but for teh most part there are too many kids just hanging out in school doing nothing, because they did not pay their own way. Sorry but I have been around a long time and that is the norm. That rule about taking the parents earnings into account is only in effect up to their 24th birthday. After that it is only their own income that counts. Our son in Seattle is now turning 26 and he is in his second year through grants. Sure it is not easy, but he really does understand what it is all about now. He has had to work his way every step along the way. Of course it has been somewhat of a struggle for him, but he gets it now. He admits that he probably would not have done much with the education if we paid for it. MOST kids just do not understand or care about what it takes to pay for that education until they reach an age in their mid 20's, and for most parents it is too late by then, because they have pissed away tens of thousands of dollars in tuition trying to help their kids out. Like I said if you want something bad enough you will find a way to make it happen for yourself.

As for getting rid of any of your toys, that has to be something that you want to do, because of financial issues, and not something that your wife makes you do against your will. Especially if you are the only one working.

[JThiessen]

Originally Posted by JERRY2KONE

Our son in Seattle is now turning 26 and he is in his second year through grants.

Is he at UW? If ya ever need to give him an asskickin', let me know!