Who stays and who goes?

[JThiessen]

A little highjack here - Jerry, how did you find a way around the FAFSA forms. They seem almost taylored to spefically make the families pay. I agree with your stance on making the kids responsible for paying their way through (using loans/jobs). But they way the system is set up now, it was impossible for my step-daughter to qualify due to my income. Thats the other part that ticks me off - if I were to divorce my wife (which I dont intend to - at least not today...), all of those loans are in my name, not hers, or the daughter.

[riverat1540]

Like ive told my other half when times get tight, my hobbies are my hobbies and if i sell something the money is going back into my hobbies, All of our money is seperate and we alternate buying groceries, and split the other bills. and if one of us needs help we help each other out, but anything borrowed is payed back unless otherwise agreed. it has worked great for us for 5 years now. my hobbies are understood as long as i dont spend money i dont have on them.

[nitrostarter]

Originally Posted by JThiessen

A little highjack here - Jerry, how did you find a way around the FAFSA forms. They seem almost taylored to spefically make the families pay. I agree with your stance on making the kids responsible for paying their way through (using loans/jobs). But they way the system is set up now, it was impossible for my step-daughter to qualify due to my income. Thats the other part that ticks me off - if I were to divorce my wife (which I dont intend to - at least not today...), all of those loans are in my name, not hers, or the daughter.

Same thing happened with my parent's income disqualifying me. Problem was that my parent's took Jerry's approach and I had to fund myself through college even though they forced me to go. Luckily, my scores were good enough to land an almost full ride through 4yrs. I only had to shell out some book and fee money.

Those FAFSA form are exactly that, a deterrent from anything above lower income family to getting public assistant to further their education. Way to go Congress.

[georgec]

After reading all the posts on this subject it confirms just how blessed I am! My avatar is a picture taken of my wife and I in 1972 on Titusville beach in FL a year after we started dating and not only are we still IN love with one another she is still my best friend! We have never had separate accounts except for business reasons. We never argue about money even though at times it has been tight. I respect her opinion as she does mine and are both willing to compromise when need be. Maybe we are the exception to what is now normal but I would have nothing less.

[lutach]

This is why I don't have a wife and I'm not planning on getting married. I will make sure when I do pass away, everything goes for my daughter. Now back to the topic.

Keep all of them. Make sure your bills are paid first before getting anything else, but with the vehicles you have, you shouldn't really need anything else. Now if you collect the rare ones which can make some money down the line, then get one every month. Think about it, you're making the money so you need to enjoy it after the bills are paid first. Does she spend money on stuff not related to bills? If so then you should set some rules since the source of income is coming from your hard work.

I know someone who has similar issues and a while back I told him to not let the wife rule your life and he said I didn't know what I was talking about. Now that someone is having troubles and their marriage isn't looking too good. I told that person he was warned before it happened and now he has to live with it.

Have fun with the stress relievers and if the wife gets on you, crank that 5B in the house and make some jumps out of the couch.

[t-maxxracer32]

Originally Posted by JERRY2KONE

So let me share my veiw about college funds. There have been a few studies done about the wealth of having your parents pay for your college as apposed to working your own way through school, or acqiring some level of scholarship. We have five adult children who have all found their own way through college, and in fact one of them is working on her Masters degree right now. None of them recieved or asked us for money, because we raised them with the belief that if they truly want to go to school they will find their own way to do it, and have more respect for where the money is going. With the economy being what it is today saving for your kids to go to school 15 years from now, when you have no idea whether or not they will even go to college is the least of our financial problems. Not finding a happy medium with finances in a family is the number one killer of a marriage. You have to work on, and reach some sort of an agreement to which both parties are somewhat satisfied with their half of the responsibilities. If you can aford it the play money has to be almost on the same level as well or there is going to be jealousy at some point that will explode into arguments that will end your relationship. Along with that needs to be some level of equal input towards paying the way for the lifestyle you have. We are not in the 1950's any more. If you want a woman to respect you then you have to lay down the law in YOUR HOUSEHOLD and stand by your principles. If not then you are doomed to being treated like a child yourself.

Im going to have to disagree about your view on a college fund. My parents have college funds for me, my brother, and sister and if one of us decides not to go to college they can easily pull the money out and stash it in their savings account. They paid in 150(50 each child) a month since each of us were born and now each of us have about 20k for college. You think that if kids arent paying for their college then they will take it as a joke? the only way that happens is if you raise your kids to think that by giving them everything they've ever wanted. I have seen that happen and it is embarrassing, but not all kids are like that. I respect my parents for building this college fund and i am truly blessed that i do not have to graduate with 20-30k in debt by loans. I will be working while going to college, but that will be savings for my future. College is hella expensive now and without college funds or some type of huge grant some kids just cant afford to make it.
Also gotta realize... once parents are too old to work and need assisted living the kids are the one who need to step up to the plate and take care of them! if they never took care of you when you were a child whos to say if you will take care of them

[JERRY2KONE]

There are exceptions to ever rule, but for teh most part there are too many kids just hanging out in school doing nothing, because they did not pay their own way. Sorry but I have been around a long time and that is the norm. That rule about taking the parents earnings into account is only in effect up to their 24th birthday. After that it is only their own income that counts. Our son in Seattle is now turning 26 and he is in his second year through grants. Sure it is not easy, but he really does understand what it is all about now. He has had to work his way every step along the way. Of course it has been somewhat of a struggle for him, but he gets it now. He admits that he probably would not have done much with the education if we paid for it. MOST kids just do not understand or care about what it takes to pay for that education until they reach an age in their mid 20's, and for most parents it is too late by then, because they have pissed away tens of thousands of dollars in tuition trying to help their kids out. Like I said if you want something bad enough you will find a way to make it happen for yourself.

As for getting rid of any of your toys, that has to be something that you want to do, because of financial issues, and not something that your wife makes you do against your will. Especially if you are the only one working.

[Nard Cox]

Originally Posted by fastbaja5b

..well at the moment I work 55 hrs a week (2 jobs) she's not working right now, always seems to be sick, and when she has a full time job she's home sick maybe 1 day in 5-10 on average. I put all my coin in the joint account and allow myself $50 a fortnight for my hobby.

But apparantly I am the unreasonable one.

First off I was going with what georgec said. But after reading the above quote I would keep 'm and tell her to get a job (and work for +- 40 hours a week).

[rchippie]

Originally Posted by Bondonutz

Get rid of the wife and buy 2 more RC's ?

[JThiessen]

Originally Posted by JERRY2KONE

Our son in Seattle is now turning 26 and he is in his second year through grants.

Is he at UW? If ya ever need to give him an asskickin', let me know!

[fastbaja5b]

Well laid down the law last night, told her I don't care wtf she does, but the budget is what it is, and she needs to earn $1*** a fortnight for us to get through. (I put in $1*** a f/n and a fully maintained work car)

Also reminded her that her dogs have set us back $20k in vet bills the past 6 yrs and I can't sell a dog when we run into a bill, thats her hobby the cars are mine period.

We went to her folks which is where she tries to complain about me the most, so I took the Truggy along and hacked around the front yard. Lasted 3 minutes before both front wheels detonated, one tyre came off a rim, the other stripped a wheel hex (silly me used a socket to tighten the 17mm wheel nuts by hand and didn't wrench them that extra bit) So the stripped wheel hex I have tried to save by putting a coat of silicone in there and molding a new hex shape, and will get some tyre glue today.

9XL motor ran cool on 4sA123, watts meter showed a amp peak of 114 amps geared 17/51 and in 3 minutes used 1150mah so not the most efficient set up.

[rootar]

man im lucky, my gf loves going to the track and racing with me, hell she even buys me alot of stuff and somewhat funds her own r/c's.

As for the college fund thing, my father fits in the category of makes too much money every year, it was very hard for me to get the scholarships i have even ALOT of academic scholarships have fucking income limits which sucks whne you work hard all through school to be told "Well you dont qualify for this academic scholarship even through your the top canidate your father's income is over the limit." I had to live at home and drive over an hour each way every day for my first two years of college and work 30hours a week, after two years was up i was able to reapply and get ALOT of transfer and specialized scholarships, that along with a decent paying job from the first degree i earned allowed me to move out into my own house with my girlfriend. I was even layed off for 5 months but i had enough in saved up and i did odd jobs for the longest and even through that time ive never asked my parents for anything, I guess its how i was raised. I won't take anything from anyone and ill do with out before i ask for something. I'm not sure if it stems from being embarassed or what, even when my parents offer to do things for me i refuse. Where the college fund comes into play is that I have one..... Ive never used it for school since i have payed my own way but i bought some "school related" items with it, (like 9,500 worth of snap-on tools @ 40% off and now its paying for my pilots lisecense and intrument rating) My dad was really proud that i was able to use it for things i would keep my whole life and glad it wasnt wasted paying into some school fees and crap.

anyways you need to have a talk with the ole lady and come up with another plan because like others said what youll get for the r/c stuff you sell wont be a drop in the bucket in comparsion to other ways you could reorganize your spending, I think your being more than reasonable.

[JThiessen]

One positive thing about investing in a college fund, like the GET program, is that it will guarantee tuition rates - which in my eyes is a huge savings. I wish I had been able to do that for my step daughter, but at the time, I was paying support on my birth daughter, and just didn't have the extra funds.

[JERRY2KONE]

Originally Posted by JThiessen

One positive thing about investing in a college fund, like the GET program, is that it will guarantee tuition rates - which in my eyes is a huge savings. I wish I had been able to do that for my step daughter, but at the time, I was paying support on my birth daughter, and just didn't have the extra funds.

Thats just it we all have so many things that we have to pay for these days that saving money for a possible future college fund is really not in the arrangements anymore. If you have the cash to set aside for that kind of money then good for you, but most of us are barely getting by from month to month and trying to make ends meet. Still like the last young man stated he is proud of the fact that he makes ends meet all on his own, which helps greatly with his self esteem. Not to mention I am willing ot bet that your dad is proud as hell of the sacrifices you have made and that you are wanting to do it all on your own. When we get old and reach those days of losing some of our abilities that last thing we want is for our children to suffer trying to take care of us. So that excuse does not wash either. If you want the education bad enough you will fight your way through whatever you have to in order to get it. Then you have something to be proud of for sure.

Glad to hear that you laid down the law in your own house. It sounds like she needed a little old fassioned wakeup call to get off her butt. Keeping animals when you are struggling to pay the bills is another pet peave of mine. If you struggle to put food on the table, then the animals have to go.